The Redhead Jumped Over the Pond (And the Dish Ran Away with the Spoon): First Week of 'Work' Part 2

I thought if I put everything all in one post, it'd be SUPER long and tough to read so here it is broken up a little!

Friday...

Was back at the same school, same year 6 class. After yesterday when they giggled at me trying to pronounce some of their names, I was nervous to mess up again (just because I'm a teacher doesn't mean I don't have feelings!). Today went a little smoother... Still no lesson plans but I was able to fake it a little better I think. I didn't forget my lunch today (Yay!) and actually ate some of it during lunch time.. I taught a religion course, basically discussing some different religions in the world. They were quite chatty but I tried to use being from Canada as a bribe to get them to quiet down. If they finished their work, I'd tell them about Canada. I was at the school marking my own stuff and then helping Maggie until 5:15pm. We bussed back and got to our flats about 6:20 by the time we caught the bus etc. Tonight was our planned TimePlan social: a chance to meet the other teachers. So Maggie and I changed and met everyone else over there. I couldn't quite gauge my emotions, I felt antsy. We got to the location, only a 5 minute walk from the flat at the Pitcher and Piano. The bar was packed with people (both from TimePlan and also just having a few drinks). I immediately felt overwhelmed at the crowd but tried to press through it.. However, I found the tears pricking my eyes and needed to excuse myself... Went out to cry in the alley, away from eyes.. However, I did have a little boy and his mum walk by (he looked at my oddly) so I decided to pull myself together and go back in. I finished my drink while listening to others talk. They all seemed so at ease, and here I was just sitting there hardly able to keep myself from crying... When I felt like I couldn't handle it anymore, Hannah messaged me asking if I wanted to go outside for a sec. We sat down by the water and I cried to her. We sat there for over 30 minutes... She was so kind to me, rubbing my back and talking me through the tears and hyperventilating. We went back inside as I was beginning to feel bad for keeping her away from the party for so long. Once we were back in, I got another drink and chatted with some other teachers. I met two from Ontario (one of them went to Trent!). It was good to chat with them-- they even invited me on he bus tour they were going on the next day! I enjoyed the chats with the TimePlan staff, the other teachers, and of course my friends! By 10, we all headed back to our flats.. Most of the "group" that I've been hanging out with decided to go out clubbing, I wasn't feeling up to it but I enjoyed sending them all off on a fun night. As I lay in bed, I called Anne. At this point, it was 10:45pm isn and she was in the car with her mum. After she answered and figured out who it was I heard her say "Oh, Jenna! I want to talk but I'm in the car with mum. Mum, it's Jenna calling." I then heard in a wonderful Scottish accent "Hi Jenna." Anne told me she'd be home in an hour and I told her I'd wait up. I felt like I was in a good headspace. Though I hadn't wanted to go out, I was happy for those who did. I got back on Facebook so enjoyed refamiliarizing myself with it. My mum ended up calling and I chatted with her until Anne messaged me saying she was home. By the time I called her, it was about 12:20AM, so about 7:45 for her. We chatted until about 2:20 AM! It was a good conversation and I enjoyed chatting with my Anne!! No tears from me at all! Just laying there, talking into my iPad (using my Skype).. Couldn't have asked for anything better.

Saturday...

Woke up after a late night, at about 9 AM... Got the text from Zoe about the bus to meet. I messaged Maggie and she said she'd like to come along. So we met Zoe and Ryan at the city centre and caught the bus to get on the bus for the tour.. Zoe and Ryan arrived JUST as the bus was boarding... But we got on. After about some driving, we were out of the city. We went through many little towns, and the big bus felt mammoth driving down the tiny residential roads. After a big bump, we discovered our bus had something wrong with the suspension. We drove a title farther, out of the residential area and onto a highway and the bus stopped. We were all standing around outside the bus, and I felt overwhelmed. Obviously, this kind of situation could have happened anywhere, but it felt extra weighty to me in that moment. We waited about 40 minutes for the other bus to come and pick us up, and then we realized that the tour bus stopped at the same place.. So we caught the Red route on the New Forrest tour. Basically, it took us around little cities that we could stop and wander around but we decided to stay for the whole ride. It lasted about 2 hours and we saw lots of countryside. I'd heard rumours about unicorns but we didn't see any! Though we did see lots of wild horses! We sat on the top of the double decker bus which had no top. Though it was a nice day, it got chilly on top of the bus with the wind blowing! Two locations we passed that stood out to me: The burial place of a girl named Alice who was the inspiration for the character of Alice in "Alice in Wonderland" and Arthur Conan Doyle's summer home.

We got back to the city centre around 3:45. Maggie wanted to get a few things and then we walked home. Coming back into the flat, I felt antsy again. I stopped at the flat to drop my stuff off and then wandered downstairs to chat with Hannah and Liz.. After knocking a few times, Liz answered the door and I chatted with her. I cried a few times to her and she listened wonderfully. I haven't reached the point of totally wondering what I'm doing here/ if I made a mistake, but I am wondering if I'm right here... I confessed to her that sometimes, I wonder if I'm out of place. The girls haven't done anything to make me feel like that. But me being so emotional and them having so much energy and always seeming so happy makes me feel like maybe I don't fit in... After sitting with her for a bit, I wiped my eyes and went back upstairs. Called Aunt Marj. and cried to her for an hour. It was good to talk to her but everything felt like it was on my shoulders. Hannah and my roommate Liz came home and were sitting in living room. I'm sure they could hear my crying, but we didn't mention it once I emerged from my bedroom. The rest of the night was survivable. We walked to the waterfront and sat out there for a bit. I am forcing myself to think in the now. Can I do anything about Monday morning? No, so try not to worry about it. I really enjoyed sitting by the waterfront and found it to be very relaxing. We came home and sat around listening to Liz playing the guitar and I did some knitting. Looking forward to not having to wake up to an alarm on Sunday morning!

Sunday...

Didn't set an alarm but was awake at 8 anyways! Guess I should have closed my curtains to lock out the sun. Having the sun in the morning helps me wake up when it's early but I could've done without it this morning... I lay in bed trying to read, and trying to fall back asleep Hannah texted me around 10:12 saying she was going to church if I wanted to join. So I quickly got dressed and met her downstairs. We walked into the city centre to find the church. It wash't a service I am accustomed to (after being spoiled to have Anne as my minister) but it was good. Some of the things the minister said really connected with me and I felt calm. I didn't know any of the songs they were singing though! Hannah and I walked home (not before stopping at the health food store for some vitamins-- I feel like I'm getting sick!). Found some dissolving echinacea tablets... I had to chug the whole water bottle.. Left a horrible aftertaste in my mouth! We walked home and it was a beautiful day! We met everyone else at the mexican restaurant just down from the flat. We have a standing Sunday afternoon lunch date and I love it. Each week we try a new place. We got back home, and Liz and I decided to go for a walk. We walked up to the city centre and were looking at shoes and a teacher bag for Liz and perhaps a backpack for me. She managed to find a good teacher bag. We met Hannah and Liz down by the waterfront and sat there for a bit watching the ferry come in. I realized I forgot my phone at home. Would've sent Jillian a picture to match the picture she posted from the Halifax waterfront. After, we came home, made some supper and I began updating this LONG post (apologies!!) It's 9 o'clock now. I've enjoyed getting back on Facebook because it helps me to reconnect with people. I also found out that there's a few Lakehead graduates in the UK right now. It helps to know that there's others in the same time zone and not TOO far away should I need them. At this point, I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow morning. But I'll deal with that as it comes.

Until next time,

Jenna